Wise Birds

by Kaya

Jen and I are fortunate to have many role models in our life of how to form a long-lasting, loving, and successful marriage. We have had all four sets of our grandparents, as well as our parents remain married through the joys and trials of their relationships. With so much love and support around, we found it remarkable that we learned such valuable lessons about a lifelong partnership from two silly birds.

During the hustle and bustle of planning a wedding and buying a house we found ourselves more busy than we had expected. While one of us was searching online for homes, interest rates and figuring out what a “mello-roos” was, the other was creating our list of “Things to do before the wedding”, as well as the inevitable sub-lists and sub-sub lists of “Things to do before the wedding”, when we noticed two doves scouting out our balcony.

We went about our business and continued to get lost in flower arrangements, what color John’s hair would be at the wedding and HOA fees. In between hectic trips to view open houses in search of a place to create our nest, we noticed we were not alone in our efforts. The two doves we had seen earlier had been frantically gathering twigs and small broken branches all day and laying them on a raised platform outside. The hurried construction of this rustic home left much to be desired and we were surprised to see the finished product. With branches sticking out in every which way and broken twigs dangling over the side of the platform, it was truly a fixer-upper.

Needless to say, it was their nest and it was perfect in every way.

The dove couple (originally named “Hunchy” and “Puffy” after their appearance and later re-named Henry and Henrietta...and again re-named Toulouse and Tou Lu-Lu) had more in common with us than we first thought. These funny birds were creating a warm home for themselves, planning a life together, and even had poor construction skills. We really should have named them Jimmy and Jenny.

It was comforting to come home to see our bird friends caring for their nest and begin taking turns keeping their new egg warm and safe. Night and day they alternated gathering food and protecting their egg. These doves were starting a new life in a new home and they worked together to make it a success.

The lesson was not lost on us.

The doves gave us perspective on what mattered as we planned out our future. It wasn’t about square footage or seven-tiered cakes – it was about committing to a partnership that makes our lives more wonderful and love-filled. Beyond the celebration and packing boxes it’s about supporting each other and finding the beauty in every moment.

These two wise birds taught us how to begin the next chapter in our life as a married couple.

There may have also been a lesson in regurgitating food to your young, but that part wasn’t as clear.