Got Advertising Rants?

by Kaya

I think we can all agree that it is no longer an effective marketing strategy to mimic the successful “Got Milk?” ads. Please -- can we agree to stop copying this tagline? The once proud and mighty “Got Milk?” slogan has lost its steam. It served its purpose, now it’s time to let it take its natural course. Much like ‘the wave’ at sporting events or Dan Aykroyd, it’s time to put it to sleep and out of misery.

Aside from the grammatical error in the “Got Milk?” slogan, it is a brilliant ad campaign (and, let’s face it, “Do You Have Milk?” sounds stupid and doesn’t fit easily on a black t-shirt). Each advertisement was expertly executed and I imagine it’s one of the most recognized marketing runs of all time. But I have a question…did anyone really buy more milk due to this multi-million dollar ad buy? Isn’t milk one of those things you either use or don’t use?

If they advertised heavily for the use of salt or butter (not a particular brand, but the substance unto itself) would you use more of it? Maybe it’s because I drink soy milk (and feel that “Got Phlegm?” is a more appropriate tagline despite what the focus group say) that this “drink milk…any milk at all” strategy doesn’t make sense to me. Everyone knows milk is supposed to be good for you (notwithstanding several studies raising points to the contrary), so how does this ad make you desire more milk in your diet? Does anyone say, “This ad really spoke to me. I think I’ll start pouring milk on my cereal in the mornings instead of beer or grenadine.” Or “Dunking these freshly baked chocolate chip cookies into mugs filled with sand isn’t hitting the spot…hey, do we ‘got milk?’”

Perhaps the worst result from these successful dairy spots was the copycat ads. Usually in the form of a local business or small company, the “Got _____?” text appeared to be everywhere. “Got Life Insurance?”, “Got Bagels?”, “Got Estate Planning?” I even saw printed on the window of a car “Got Good Grades?” as a promotion for a tutoring service. No, I don’t “got” good grades -- my tutor can’t write a sentence correctly.

I can’t count how many times I saw this clever copywriting piggyback being done, however, I knew it was truly over when I saw a sign that read “Got Smoked Fish?”

Yep. The official end. Like when Bob Saget began to wear a goatee, thus signaling it was no longer cool (and perhaps one of the signs of the apocalypse), the “Got Smoked Fish?” slogan is the checkered flag, the rolling credits and the final bow to this once successful tagline.

Rest in peace little fella’. May your message of strong bones and sturdy teeth help you where you go next. Say hello to the surly “Where’s the Beef?” lady and the poor “I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up.” woman. I hope you ‘got life insurance’ before it was too late. Godspeed.